7/4/2023 0 Comments Ny times 6 party quiz![]() What should have been something new and experimental became something with a sense of urgency. It made the relationship seem more serious than it was. I think the exercise actually inhibited us. Do we have a second date? I don't know yet." -Liu Kai Ying, via Zula While I didn't fall head over heels in love that night, I wouldn't mind getting to know this person better. "At the end of the night, I felt as if I knew this guy better than I know my best friend.The questions have been used in many other psychology studies, from helping married couples get closer to each other to helping people reduce racial prejudice. That said, as Elaine Aron notes in a Psychology Today blog post, the questions weren't specifically designed to help people fall in love-they're simply about creating closeness. ![]() This combination of self-disclosure, perceived similarities, and being open to getting close to each other is what's been found to accelerate the creation of feelings of closeness and intimacy. The questions are designed to help two people gradually reveal more and more about themselves, as well as identify ways in which they're similar to each other and say the things they like about each other out loud. "The core of the method we developed was to structure such self-disclosure between strangers." "One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personalistic self-disclosure," the Arons and their fellow researchers write in the paper. In 1997, the team published a paper in the 1 Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 1 describing a series of experiments in which they asked pairs of strangers (or, in one version of the experiment, pairs of college classmates) to take turns asking each other each of the 36 questions.Īt the end of the experiment, the pairs were asked to spend four uninterrupted minutes staring into each other's eyes. The 36 questions were developed by a team of researchers led by Arthur Aron, Ph.D., and Elaine Aron, Ph.D., two psychologists (husband and wife) who have spent decades researching how attraction, intimacy, and romantic love form. Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
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